Monday, October 10, 2011
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
An interesting take on how we live our lives today!Live every moment!
You may find this presentation worth viewing!
Friday, July 29, 2011
An Ode to my Dad and Akhil
Here is something I spotted that I thought was very apt:
"Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush.
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die."
---Mary Elizabeth Frye.
"Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush.
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die."
---Mary Elizabeth Frye.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Remembering Dad!
It is now a week since my Dad left us. From what seemed like a fairly harmless trip out to a nursing home, it took its toll on him a week later.
My Dad was special, as I guess all Dad's are.
He was a quiet achiever in his own way! I think he led a full life and gave us a great foothold in this world. He was self made, not in the sense of building a business empire, but in educating himself and building his career.He studied at some of the best institutes(like the IISc), that the country offered in the 40's.He was one of the few who got a government scholarship and took a ship to go and do his masters in the US.He told us stories of this sea voyage in a US army ship at the end of World War 2.Some of it charming and would seem almost like a fable to any kid today.
They say a man is known in his death and the number of his colleagues from the army and friends who have come by to meet us, all remember him as a 'true gentleman','a great teacher' and importantly 'a lovely human being'.
He was a great father to me and my sister,never ever raising his voice at us, but I think bringing up both of us,as fairly decent kids. He gave us a great education,at times maybe even sacrificing his savings to put us through some pretty good schools and colleges.
I think his greatest contribution to us was to build in us, the values of life which we still try and follow and others seemingly admire.
He spent the last 20years with me and we had grown very fond of each other. I learnt as he aged, that much like he held my hand and took me places when I was a child,now it was my turn to do the same, for him.
He loved watching a cricket match with me,having the occasional beer together, but I think being with me.
One more event for me,in this circus of life!
I miss you Dad, you were the true officer and gentleman!
My Dad was special, as I guess all Dad's are.
He was a quiet achiever in his own way! I think he led a full life and gave us a great foothold in this world. He was self made, not in the sense of building a business empire, but in educating himself and building his career.He studied at some of the best institutes(like the IISc), that the country offered in the 40's.He was one of the few who got a government scholarship and took a ship to go and do his masters in the US.He told us stories of this sea voyage in a US army ship at the end of World War 2.Some of it charming and would seem almost like a fable to any kid today.
They say a man is known in his death and the number of his colleagues from the army and friends who have come by to meet us, all remember him as a 'true gentleman','a great teacher' and importantly 'a lovely human being'.
He was a great father to me and my sister,never ever raising his voice at us, but I think bringing up both of us,as fairly decent kids. He gave us a great education,at times maybe even sacrificing his savings to put us through some pretty good schools and colleges.
I think his greatest contribution to us was to build in us, the values of life which we still try and follow and others seemingly admire.
He spent the last 20years with me and we had grown very fond of each other. I learnt as he aged, that much like he held my hand and took me places when I was a child,now it was my turn to do the same, for him.
He loved watching a cricket match with me,having the occasional beer together, but I think being with me.
One more event for me,in this circus of life!
I miss you Dad, you were the true officer and gentleman!
Monday, May 23, 2011
15 months on...life is different!
23rd May,today, marks 15 months since our lives changed forever!
It still seems like yesterday!Well, it has been a rough ride with almost every action reminding us of the times we had with Akhil. Our lives have taken many directions,on the one hand,to try and make an effort to see, if what we have been through, does hopefully not happen to someone else and the other our own personal lives have new challenges!
On the first, of reaching out to a larger world, our efforts with Beyond Carlton has just scratched the surface. This is a marathon and we need to stay the course, if we need to complete the distance! I am now learning, that in this journey, we will have some who will drop off and some who will join us afresh! Initially, this was disturbing but I am learning to cope. Somewhere, this has got us noticed and organisations have reached out to us, asking us to come on board their venture-- like the Namma Bengaluru Foundation to help advice them on a common interest of a fire safe Bangalore!Others have supported us in our initiatives and joined our cause!This sheer ability now to reach out to more people is most satisfying!
On our personal front, we have heard from friends, whom we had lost touch with and have reconnected after decades!Most are surprised at the way we have handled this moment 15 months ago and even go to the extent of calling us their personal heroes.A blog from a very dear friend Minoo, whom we we connected with after maybe 20years and now lives in the US,coincidentally, posted today talks about us and our lives! Not sure we deserve this!.
As I mentioned to Minoo, I am not sure we qualify to be anyone's hero and possibly most people handle lives the way we did!
So, yes life is different and will always be, when you go through a life changing moment, but I am learning to cope 15 months on and find new meaning!In this new life what is most rewarding is meeting so many new people,reconnecting with so many we had lost touch with.
Yes, the sun will rise every morning and its another day!
Thank you for being part of this!
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Thank you Frank Anthony ! You made us Proud!
Yesterday was a special day for Nithya and me.
We were invited to Akhil's school-The Frank Anthony Public School here at Bangalore for their 43rd Speech Day. What made this evening special, was the school's announcement, that they have instituted an award in Akhil's memory!
Here are details of the award that has been instituted:
The Akhil Uday Award for Inspiring Effort
Akhil did all his schooling from nursery to the 10th in one school-The Frank Anthony Public School, Bangalore. Akhil was a student of Frank Anthony's from kindergarten (1990) to Std.10 (2002). After graduating in Bachelor’s in Business Management, he was working for an investment banking company in Bangalore and was looking at building a career in the financial industry .
As many of us know, there was a major fire on 23rd Feb. 2010 at Bangalore’s Carlton Towers. Akhil perished in it and his promising young life was sadly cut short.
It is understood from media reports and the Fire Service that the first call for help they received, was made by Akhil. Although the fire and smoke had been raging for a while, no one from the other floors, or even from the street, seemingly, had taken the initiative to call the fire service for help. Being on a high floor it took some time for Akhil and his colleagues to become aware of the crisis they were in, but Akhil’s first act was to call the fire brigade. This act, we understand, helped save many lives, but not his own.
The spirit
This initiative and spirit, to make an effort, for not just one self, epitomizes Akhil’s values and way of life. It is to respect this spirit and keep it alive among the students of The Frank Anthony Public School that his school has instituted an annual award at his school. Our hope is that this award would inspire young children, to develop the habit of taking the initiative to help others and make a difference to society. The hope is that what begins, as an award will become their lifetime habit.
The award
It is proposed that an annual award, be given to a student who takes one’s own initiative by performing a specific act that makes a difference to their class/school/community or society at large. The initiative could be in any area of their choice or circumstance.Some possible examples of actions by the child could be that of helping a poor child with tuitions, helping keep the neighborhood clean, educating people with respect to what they are to do during the occurrence of a natural/man-made calamity or incident. Action could be taken in various other relevant fields that would help inspire and motivate other students to take an initiative as well and bring about a change.The key element would be self initiated action taken by student and not at the behest of teacher/parent/school.
The award would be given out at the school annual day every year. It would be a rolling trophy and a citation given to the student to keep.
So just over a year later, we feel this is one more way, of keeping Akhil in our midst and bringing to life his values!The school is remarkable in respecting its old students who have done something outstanding, like Major Unnikrishnan who gave his life up in the Mumbai attacks!
Thank you Frank Anthony! You made us proud!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Wouldn't wish this for anyone!
Yesterday, was Akhil's first year anniversary as per the Hindu calendar.I have not felt so drained and empty ever before, as I performed the rituals. I think, it is not so much, the ritual but the symbolism of the function that got me wired up.The thought that, the one, you brought to life, is also the one, you seek peace for, at this moment, is tough to come to terms with.
Believe me, it is not easy for a father to perform this for his child!
I had the comfort of a very articulate priest explaining to me, that he would be at peace and had reached his final abode.
I had a young friend of his, telling me the same.
We however,would like to believe that he will always be with us and in our midst and cannot bid him goodbye.
Parents I thought, brought up kids to stand on their own feet and hoped they would be a model for the world.
In our case, this tragedy seems to give us a feeling of Akhil, wanting us to leave a legacy behind, by attempts at some small acts we are now engaged with.
After yesterday,I wouldn't wish this for anyone!
Believe me, it is not easy for a father to perform this for his child!
I had the comfort of a very articulate priest explaining to me, that he would be at peace and had reached his final abode.
I had a young friend of his, telling me the same.
We however,would like to believe that he will always be with us and in our midst and cannot bid him goodbye.
Parents I thought, brought up kids to stand on their own feet and hoped they would be a model for the world.
In our case, this tragedy seems to give us a feeling of Akhil, wanting us to leave a legacy behind, by attempts at some small acts we are now engaged with.
After yesterday,I wouldn't wish this for anyone!
Thursday, February 24, 2011
So, what's the year been like?
I was upset, angry at a media reporter who called me the night before and began with "So, what's the year, been like?" A truly harmless statement, to me now, but, I was on the edge and I think I chewed her up, through the interview.Not sure, she even reported anything on me after that! This summarized, all that we were feeling as the 23rd approached.
Yes,it has been tough for us and I am sure for all the other 8 families.
But we have learnt so much:
*We have learnt that, the world, is also filled with so many good people!
*We have learnt that, age is not a reason for people to express support-All of Akhil's friends are a living testimony!
*We have learnt that, all do not handle grief the same way and we should respect that!
*We have learnt that there are still some institutions that cherish old values-Akhil's school Frank Anthony's readily agreeing to institute an award in his memory and offering on their own, to have a memorial on 23rd!
*We have learnt that, the pleasure of giving is much stronger than taking-our awards to unheard/unseeen firemen yesterday!
*We have learnt that, our other child who is challenged with many issues,can still express in her own way, that she is around for us!
*We have learnt that, if one tries hard and persistently a lot can be achieved- setting up the BC trust,meeting with govt types!
*We have learnt that, tragedies like ours, are catalysts to make new friends and yes, so many!
*We have learnt that, you just need to inspire and the ball starts rolling!
*We have learnt that, we should have few expectations- being selfless is hard, but believe me gives great satisfaction!
One year ago, on this day, as I put Akhil to rest, I didn't realize, this was going to be the journey ahead!
Thank you for being there.God Bless!
Been one helluva year!
Yes,it has been tough for us and I am sure for all the other 8 families.
But we have learnt so much:
*We have learnt that, the world, is also filled with so many good people!
*We have learnt that, age is not a reason for people to express support-All of Akhil's friends are a living testimony!
*We have learnt that, all do not handle grief the same way and we should respect that!
*We have learnt that there are still some institutions that cherish old values-Akhil's school Frank Anthony's readily agreeing to institute an award in his memory and offering on their own, to have a memorial on 23rd!
*We have learnt that, the pleasure of giving is much stronger than taking-our awards to unheard/unseeen firemen yesterday!
*We have learnt that, our other child who is challenged with many issues,can still express in her own way, that she is around for us!
*We have learnt that, if one tries hard and persistently a lot can be achieved- setting up the BC trust,meeting with govt types!
*We have learnt that, tragedies like ours, are catalysts to make new friends and yes, so many!
*We have learnt that, you just need to inspire and the ball starts rolling!
*We have learnt that, we should have few expectations- being selfless is hard, but believe me gives great satisfaction!
One year ago, on this day, as I put Akhil to rest, I didn't realize, this was going to be the journey ahead!
Thank you for being there.God Bless!
Been one helluva year!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
11...just another number
Today marks eleven months since Akhil left us.Actually,maybe not, because we feel he is very much in us and all our actions.
Eleven just seems another numerical that will keep galloping away!
It is as tough for us, as it was on 23rd Feb.2010 and to me personally losing a 23year old son is the loss of a son who had turned to be a friend.At 23, we went out together whether to check out the latest music systems,cars or to a favorite gadget store.We'd go off together and get tempted to grab lunch out together and he would then call his Mom and say if it was ok that we both had lunch out! Not that we gave her a choice but that was Akhil's way of getting her permission!At 23, he was someone you consulted on things you seemed unfamiliar with-new technology,new software applications.He even got to holding me back on what I succumb to frequently, as impulse buying! His familiar refrain was "Dad do you really need that?" I thought Dad's were supposed to be asking that! He would sheepishly share a beer with me and his grand dad on Sunday's.
I miss him because he had become a close friend and a confidant!
Today, we have to go through similar situations and the one question we ask is "what would have Akhil said?"
Maybe that is one way that he is part of us and we keep him in our actions.
We have also decided to follow his story of living life happily and doing whatever we have always wanted to do. Life, we learnt is too short to live on others terms but for ourselves!
At 23, your kids I learnt, teach you a few things abut life!
We know Akhil is with us and will be there forever! We will continue to keep asking 'What would Akhil have said?"for the rest of our lives!This is one way we hope will help us feel he is in our midst.
Eleven just seems another numerical that will keep galloping away!
It is as tough for us, as it was on 23rd Feb.2010 and to me personally losing a 23year old son is the loss of a son who had turned to be a friend.At 23, we went out together whether to check out the latest music systems,cars or to a favorite gadget store.We'd go off together and get tempted to grab lunch out together and he would then call his Mom and say if it was ok that we both had lunch out! Not that we gave her a choice but that was Akhil's way of getting her permission!At 23, he was someone you consulted on things you seemed unfamiliar with-new technology,new software applications.He even got to holding me back on what I succumb to frequently, as impulse buying! His familiar refrain was "Dad do you really need that?" I thought Dad's were supposed to be asking that! He would sheepishly share a beer with me and his grand dad on Sunday's.
I miss him because he had become a close friend and a confidant!
Today, we have to go through similar situations and the one question we ask is "what would have Akhil said?"
Maybe that is one way that he is part of us and we keep him in our actions.
We have also decided to follow his story of living life happily and doing whatever we have always wanted to do. Life, we learnt is too short to live on others terms but for ourselves!
At 23, your kids I learnt, teach you a few things abut life!
We know Akhil is with us and will be there forever! We will continue to keep asking 'What would Akhil have said?"for the rest of our lives!This is one way we hope will help us feel he is in our midst.
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