Welcome!

This blog of mine: "Circus of Life" is a sharing of my observations, feelings,views and perspective of life, after having suddenly lost a young son. It began with this life changing moment and has been cathartic for me, ever since. If you happen to have stumbled by, I hope you find my journey of some relevance!

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Another month rolls by...

It has been a quiet month and our pain is no less.
It won't be long before it is a year since the tragedy.We still believe, things have been unfair to us and so do, I am sure all others, who lost someone suddenly!
Besides the effort, that one, has put in, to channel our minds into something more positive like 'Beyond Carlton' there is also an effort to understand life and our end in greater detail.Issues to do with fate,karma and sometimes the need to explore more about why this happened to us,does get us to read and talk to others. Not sure, we have got any answers as yet!
Yesterday, I stumbled upon a captivating speech by Steve Jobs of Apple and he talks about how he came close to death, due to cancer.In his speech he makes a very profound statement " Death is likely the single best invention of Life." Worth considering?
(I have posted this speech on my Facebook page,in case, you feel like checking it out!)
Sometimes I get frustrated at the slow pace of justice and action and eventually resign myself to believing it is beyond me! I then kick myself to go back to moving the machinery,examining options and even try and get colleagues at Beyond Carlton to at least keep it alive! I must say, sometime it works and sometimes it doesn't!
Many things remind us of Akhil, like yesterday, while waiting at a doctor's, for an appointment, another young boy was pushing his Mom to speak softly on a call and ask the doc some specific questions for him.I turned my head to see them and it almost felt Akhil was around with his Mom.
Guess, these things will be around for a long time and I hope things will slowly settle for us!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Missed you on Diwali!!!


I remember our last DIWALI when Akhil was in his element.He had special fireworks that Sriram, a dear friend and colleague had given him. These were apparently left overs from IPL. He was so excited with them that he even called Sriram to check whether he had more.We had cousins over with their kids and Akhil was the 'big brother' around blowing these gorgeous huge rockets that lit the sky and left stars behind, leaving his little cousins in awe.

Today,the small effort that we put together from Beyond Carlton on a 'fire safe Diwali' message, left me with a lot of satisfaction.
Could we have done it better, of course we could? What was inspirational was the immediate willingness of various folks to work-in, which was most gratifying. From Nitin at Beyond Carlton to Radio Indigo who ran capsules to Bilat at Ogilvy who designed posters and leaflets to Akhil's friends who went around the city from cracker shops to restaurants to clubs,spreading the message. Stuff like this, with various people volunteering,almost seems therapeutic and in a way seems to reduce our pain.

At home, as expected,we did not celebrate Diwali,like we did,all these years.Friends and family were sensitive to our pain and we didn't have the calls in the morning wishing us.No sweets came home nor did we feel like sending any.The evening was tough and Arpita, Akhil's sister defined the evening, when she said, she did not want even a candle lit, when I suggested the same.Coming from someone like her, with her challenges, in a way sums up our day yesterday!

We looked up into the sky, as the fireworks showered stars above and wondered which star he was and just hope, he is safe up there!
Missed you Akhil!