Yesterday, was Akhil's first year anniversary as per the Hindu calendar.I have not felt so drained and empty ever before, as I performed the rituals. I think, it is not so much, the ritual but the symbolism of the function that got me wired up.The thought that, the one, you brought to life, is also the one, you seek peace for, at this moment, is tough to come to terms with.
Believe me, it is not easy for a father to perform this for his child!
I had the comfort of a very articulate priest explaining to me, that he would be at peace and had reached his final abode.
I had a young friend of his, telling me the same.
We however,would like to believe that he will always be with us and in our midst and cannot bid him goodbye.
Parents I thought, brought up kids to stand on their own feet and hoped they would be a model for the world.
In our case, this tragedy seems to give us a feeling of Akhil, wanting us to leave a legacy behind, by attempts at some small acts we are now engaged with.
After yesterday,I wouldn't wish this for anyone!
Uncle,
ReplyDeleteI always and firmly believe that parenting is a 2-way process - one where not just the parents help children stand on their own feet to take on the world, but where children also help parents stand on their own feet... especially as the years roll on by.
It's funny and marvellous, all in one, how life has a way of making the wheel turn. And it's overwhelming to see how the circle of life continues, how this wheel turns, how this 2-way process happens irrespective of circumstances we're all put in.
Physical presence is just one spectrum of this process. The rest is what we make of it. We're all a part of this big picture. And we're all in this process, be it where I am or where you are or or where Akhil is. We're all making our children and parents stand on their own feet wherever we are :)
For some reason, I always felt that after March 16th, there is gonna be a miracle. A hope that they will all come back. So stupid of me.
ReplyDeleteBut, for some reason, I feel Sunil is with me more than he has ever been. Its not enough for me, cos i m human and want more from him and life always.
Akhil is also around.
Dear Uday & Nithya,
ReplyDeleteEveryone in this world has their own cross to bear.All we can do is try to lighten the load by being there for one another and giving a helping hand to make the rest of the journey bearable.
I have witnessed from close quarters an entire family being wiped out in an air-crash. I remember their parents too saying the same thing.
Time has no doubt blunted the blow over the years and life has moved on for them; but the sense of helplessness still surfaces at times.
Yes, you are right, we wouldn't wish this even for our enemies.
Take care n God bless
Kala