Over 5 weeks and feeling a little down.Pardon me for that!
It is getting tougher rather than easier without Akhil.
I think it is, due to fewer folks around us and more time to ourselves now.
Small things hurt.
Like, deleting his phone number from the favourites on my phone, took me 5 weeks.Yesterday,that act got me so emotional.
All I keep saying to Nithya even now,is 'I still can't believe it'.
Our challenge is,that there wasn't any survivor from this tragedy, who was with him.
So, there are a lot of unanswered questions.Someone, who could have told us what happened in the last hour of the event.We are just not able to piece the facts together to get closure.
This is quite unlike any other accident in one way.
Will we get the answers ever? I don't know!
Our effort to get on with our lives, is an attempt, sometimes, to runaway from the reality,strange isn't it?
Akhil had his whole life ahead,his career,his wanting to achieve things for himself and for his family.We suddenly realise, we will not just have a son anymore,we will not have another daughter who would have been his wife,no grandchildren's chatter in the house,besides, of course,for me ,no one to talk to, on the latest gizmos and cars.
Take a look at this beautiful video created by the 'Beyond Carlton' team,it sums up my mood...
Akhil, you're gone too soon!
I keep telling myself everyday that it was written... and we couldnt do anything about it... for there is no closure for me too.
ReplyDeleteI have no words of solace but all I can say is I'm here for you and aunty and the family. And I'm sure he's looking over us and will be there with us.
The video is beautiful. Yes he's gone too too too soon.
--Rohini
God bless Akhil's soul, your family, Ro and her family.
ReplyDeleteI lit a candle last Thursday for Akhil at Infant Jesus Church.
He is irreplaceable. I was looking forward to meeting him on 23rd night. I'm sure someday, we all will. Perhaps, he just deserved to get to Heaven before, the gem.
God Bless.
- Reynah
Dear Kamala aunty, Uday and Nithya,
ReplyDeleteIts 2 months today since the tragedy and our thoughts are with you all again. We too experience the deep sense of loss with you, the feeling that Akhil is no longer a part of this world. Loved reading what Kamala aunty has written about him.
Spoke to her this evening. Heard you all were busy with the construction work going on in the house. With the electricity playing truant, heard the carpenters were held up and Nithya was busy attending to them. Did not feel like disturbing her at that point of time.
Also received updates from the Beyond Carlton group. Although I would have loved to be a part of this group physically; as this is not possible I plan to definitely lend my support to your family through your blog.
We plan to visit you all once Nikita is through with her CA finals.
Came across a nice poem by Gay Wilson, which is apt in your situation right now due to the work going on at your place.
BIT by BIT
When the chaos seems unending-
Clear away a little space
It will help to know that something
Has been put into its place.
Just the same when troubles hit you
Blocking up your stretch of road,
Concentrate on one small barrier
Leave a while the heavy load.
Bit by bit the chaos lessens,
Bit by bit a path is cleared
Till the mountain of your trouble
Is much smaller than you feared.
Regards,
Kala