Yesterday, was Akhil's first year anniversary as per the Hindu calendar.I have not felt so drained and empty ever before, as I performed the rituals. I think, it is not so much, the ritual but the symbolism of the function that got me wired up.The thought that, the one, you brought to life, is also the one, you seek peace for, at this moment, is tough to come to terms with.
Believe me, it is not easy for a father to perform this for his child!
I had the comfort of a very articulate priest explaining to me, that he would be at peace and had reached his final abode.
I had a young friend of his, telling me the same.
We however,would like to believe that he will always be with us and in our midst and cannot bid him goodbye.
Parents I thought, brought up kids to stand on their own feet and hoped they would be a model for the world.
In our case, this tragedy seems to give us a feeling of Akhil, wanting us to leave a legacy behind, by attempts at some small acts we are now engaged with.
After yesterday,I wouldn't wish this for anyone!
